Three days before: keep a plain bladder diary
A specialist can only work with what you tell them. "It's been bad lately" gives them nothing. A three-day record gives them a great deal.
Keep it simple. On a sheet of paper or your phone, note the time you drink something and roughly how much, the time you pass urine, and the time of any leak. Next to each leak, add one word about what you were doing: coughing, standing, walking, rushing to the toilet, nothing at all.
Three days is enough. Include one working day and one day off if you can, because they often look nothing alike. Take the sheet with you rather than trying to remember it in the room.
Write down your top three questions, in order
Most men leave an appointment and remember the important question in the car park. The fix is boring and it works: write the questions down, and put the one that matters most at the top.
Be concrete. "Is this the kind of leaking that pelvic floor training usually helps?" is a better question than "Will I get better?" "What should I be doing at home, and how often?" is better than "Any advice?"
Three is the right number. More than that and the appointment turns into a list you race through. If you get through your three and there's time, ask the rest.
Bring the numbers you actually have
You cannot quote research and you don't need to. What helps is your own information: what surgery or procedure you had and when, how many pads or liners you use in a typical day, and whether that number has moved in the last month.
Pad count is the measure many specialists reach for first, because it is honest and easy to compare over time. Count them for a couple of ordinary days before you go. Note whether they are soaked or barely damp — that difference matters.
Also bring a list of anything you are taking, written out. Don't guess from memory. Your pharmacy or GP surgery can print it if you ask.
Say the embarrassing part first, not last
There is a pattern where a man spends the appointment discussing something manageable and mentions the real problem with his hand on the door. By then there is no time to do anything with it.
So lead with it. "I leak when I stand up from a chair and it's stopping me going out" is a sentence that shapes the whole appointment. Nobody in that room is shocked. It is the reason the clinic exists.
The same goes for what you have stopped doing. Cancelled trips, avoided golf, sitting near the door at church — say it. The effect on your life is clinical information, not a complaint.
Ask them to check your technique in the room
A lot of men train for months in the wrong direction — pushing down instead of lifting, or clenching the buttocks and calling it done. You cannot easily tell from the outside, and a leaflet will not tell you either.
A pelvic health physiotherapist can assess whether you are contracting the right muscles, and can tell you how strong the squeeze is and how long you can hold it. If you have been given exercises and nothing has shifted, ask directly: "Can you check I'm doing this correctly?"
If you are seeing a urologist rather than a physio, ask whether a referral to pelvic health physiotherapy is available to you. It is a reasonable question and it is often the most useful thing you take away.
Get the next step in writing before you leave
Ask for three things on paper or in the notes: what you should be doing at home, what would count as progress, and when you should be seen again.
"Come back if it doesn't improve" is too vague to act on. Push gently for specifics. How many weeks before you'd expect to notice something? What should make you get in touch sooner?
Ask, too, what would count as a reason to ring straight away. Blood in your urine, pain, fever, or a sudden change in your control are all things to take to a doctor promptly rather than sit on. Have that answer before you need it.
The week after: turn the visit into a routine
An appointment only pays off if something changes on the Tuesday afternoon that follows it. Take ten minutes that week to convert the advice into a schedule you will actually keep.
Pin the exercises to things you already do — the kettle, the drive to the shops, the ad break. Set a reminder if you need one. Then keep the bladder diary going, one day a week, so you have a real record for the next visit instead of an impression.
Book the follow-up before you forget. Progress in this work is slow and uneven, and the value of a second appointment is that someone can see the trend that you are too close to notice.