Cue 1: "Stop the wind"
This is the back-passage cue, and for most men it is the one that lands first. Imagine you are in a quiet room with other people and you badly need to break wind. You have to hold it in without anyone noticing. That tightening and lifting at the back is pelvic floor work.
It is a good starting cue because almost every man can do it without thinking. The risk is that it can pull in the buttocks if you push too hard. Keep it gentle. If your chair creaks or your hips shift, you have gone past the muscle you were aiming for.
Use this one on day one, and keep it in reserve. On days when everything feels numb and nothing seems to respond, the back cue often still works when the front one does not.
Cue 2: "Shorten the penis"
This is a front cue, and it is more specific to men than most of the advice floating around. Sit or stand and try to draw the base of the penis slightly back and in towards your body, as if shortening it by a fraction. Nothing dramatic. A small inward movement.
Some men see a very slight nod or retraction when they get this right. If you can look down and see any movement at all, you have found something real. If you see nothing, that does not mean it is not happening, especially in the early weeks after surgery.
This cue tends to work better for the kind of control you need against a cough or a lift, because it brings in the part of the floor nearest the front. It is worth learning even if the back cue is easier.
Cue 3: "Lift the testicles"
Stand up for this one. Imagine lifting the testicles up towards your body by a small amount, the way they rise in cold water. Some men find this one clicks instantly when the other two have been vague.
Standing matters here. Gravity gives you something to work against, and the sensation is usually stronger than lying down. If you are very new to this and standing feels like nothing is happening, try it lying down first and come back to standing in a week or two.
Watch for a common error: holding your breath or bracing the stomach to generate the feeling. Keep talking out loud while you do it. If you can count to five in a normal voice, your breathing is fine.
Cue 4: "Stop the flow, in your head only"
The old advice was to stop your urine mid-stream. Do not make a habit of that. It confuses the bladder and can leave urine behind. But as a one-off, on one occasion, it tells you where the muscle is.
The better version is to do it in your imagination, away from the toilet. Sit comfortably and picture yourself mid-stream, then picture stopping it. The muscle that answers that thought is the one you want.
If you do test it at the toilet once, do it near the end of the stream, not the beginning, and then leave it alone. One check is information. Doing it every day is a habit that works against you.
Cue 5: "Walking into cold water"
Think of wading into the sea in March. The whole area draws up and in on its own. That involuntary reflex is close to a full pelvic floor contraction, and picturing it can bring on the real thing.
This cue is useful for men who find instruction-based cues frustrating. You are not being told to do anything. You are remembering a sensation your body already knows, and letting it copy itself.
It tends to produce a strong, short squeeze rather than a long hold. That makes it a good cue for the quick contractions you use before a cough or a sneeze, and a poor one for the slower holds.
Also worth reading: Am I Squeezing the Right Muscle? 4 Checks You Can Do at Home · The 6 Muscles Men Squeeze By Mistake, and How to Let Each One Go
Cue 6: "Zip from back to front"
Once one of the other cues is working, this one joins them up. Start with the back-passage tightening, then draw the feeling forward, as if closing a zip from behind to in front. One continuous movement rather than two separate squeezes.
This is the cue that most resembles what you actually need in daily life. Real control is not a single spot tightening. It is the whole floor lifting together, back and front.
Do not start here. If the back and front cues are still unreliable on their own, zipping them together will just feel like straining. Come back to it when at least two of the earlier cues give you a clear answer.
Cue 7: "Hold the lift at half"
This is less about finding the muscle and more about proving you own it. Squeeze gently to about half of what you can manage, hold it there, then let go halfway rather than all at once. If you can control the descent, you have genuine control, not just a reflex twitch.
Most men can slam a door. Fewer can close it slowly. The slow release is where the real information is, and it is usually the last thing to come back after surgery.
If the muscle drops out from under you the moment you try to ease off, that is normal early on. Note it, and try again in a fortnight. It changes.
Which cue to keep
You do not need all seven. Work through them over a week, one or two a day, and notice which ones give you a clear, repeatable answer rather than a vague maybe. Most men end up with two: one for the slow holds, one for the quick squeezes.
Write them down. It sounds unnecessary until the morning three weeks from now when your head is somewhere else and the feeling has gone fuzzy. Having your own words on paper saves you starting from scratch.
Cues also change. A cue that gave you nothing in week one can be the clearest one you have by month three, because the sensation returns gradually. It is worth running through the list again every month or so and seeing what has changed.